Waffle Bites - Not fish, nor meat, but weed

It was a nice and sunny day, when Jonah decided to go to a nearby lake to go for a swim. He packed his swimming trousers, a big towel and some smoking equipment inside his bag. As soon as he arrived at the lake, he spread his towel on the grass and changed his clothes. He sat down on his place, grabbed some weed and papers and started rolling a joint. "Just a little smoke before swimming, leaving some for afterward." Jonah admonished himself.

No sooner said than done, he lit up the doobie and inhaled the smoke deep inside his lungs. After a few puffs, he squeezed out the joint and left his place towards the edge of the lake. Jonah stuck a toe in the water, which was refreshingly cold, as he expected. He then shook his arms and legs, preparing to jump into the water. Jonah took a little run-up and then jumped over the edge into the cold, glittering depths.

Goosebumps arose all over his body as soon as his head popped out of the water. But soon he got used to the coldness of the water and began to swim away from the shore.

Suddenly, he noticed something big under the surface. It was coming towards him at a fast pace, churning the surrounding water. Jonah didn’t stand a chance.

With a huge splash, a well-known shape popped out of the water: It was the big green face of Mr. Haze Amaze.

"Hey Dude, a question: What does weed, a fish and waffles have in common?" Mr. Haze asked with his typical grin. Jonah didn’t have a clue, so he just looked at him with a questioning face.

"THEY HAVE THE SAME…HABITAT! HAHAHAH!" The green giant burst out in laughter and slapped his knee.

Jonah still didn’t get it. "Man, either this joke is too high for me, or you are too high for this joke."

Mr. Haze was still laughing as he grabbed Jonahs head and drowned him. "Come on, I’ll show you what I mean." Like an anchor, he was going down, pulling Jonah deeper into the lake.

After a short while, they reached the ground of the lake and Mr. Haze was just standing there, as if there was no water around him at all. Jonah was struggling to hold his breath, trying not to open his mouth in panic. His companion was smiling sinisterly at him and hit him against the back of his head. Jonah had to cough… but he didn’t get any water into his lungs.

"Breaaaath, my friend. There’s no need to hold your breath… for now. I haven’t shown you anything, yet." Mr. Haze smiled at Jonah, who was still confused of the fact, that he could actually breath underwater.

Mr. Haze grabbed his hand and pulled him through a big pile of seaweed. As soon as they got out of the plants, a huge swarm of fishes was swimming in front of them. Big, large gray fishes with shiny scales, which were moving through the water. As Mr. Haze walked out of the grasfield, they suddenly gathered around him, like a little tornado. "Look, how they love me. Welcome to my Aquaponic Setup, my friend. What you can see here, are the salmon, which I use for my Aquaponic Grow. A magnificent method, to combine agriculture and fish breeding. Honestly, I have to admit that I copied all this aquaponic stuff from Habitat Life, but they do it in a more sterile way. They have to because they are medical producers, they got high claims. But you know me, I like it natural, baby!"

Jonah looked sceptically: "Aquaponic? What is that?"

All the fish and Mr. Haze turned their head towards him, looking at Jonah silently. "You don’t know, what is Aquaponic? Well, let me show you." He stretched out his hand and held it like he wanted to receive something. After a few seconds, a fish swam across his hand and let something fell out of his body. The strange substance landed directly on Mr. Haze hand. He smiled, while presenting it to Jonah: "You see this? This, my friend, is pure fertilizer." Jonah lifted one eyebrow: "You mean … fish poo?"

Mr. Haze was laughing. "YES, YES! It’s ordinary fish shit, HAHAHA!" He waved his hand around and the fluid dissolved in the water. "But it’s damn good fertilizer for plants." Jonah looked around. "But which plants?" he asked.

Mr. Haze shook his head. "You won’t find the plants here. But since you don’t know anything about Aquaponic, let me show you around the other processes steps." He grabbed Jonahs hand and rose up fast like a bubble, towards the water surface and through it. They softly landed outside the pond Jonah was first swimming inside. "C’mon follow me, dude. The next step is the processing of the fish poo into fertilizer." He smiled naughty and moved his long legs along the big pond. Jonah, just in his swimming-trouser, followed him. Soon they arrived at a big pipe. Water was flowing out of it into another smaller pond. The Water inside was so clear that you were able to see a gravel ground without any plants or little animals inside, just blank gravel. Jonah got down on his knees and looked closer at the ground of the little pond, but there was absolutely nothing to see. "Here take this." Mr. Haze Amaze was holding a big magnifying glass towards him. Jonah looked sceptical at him, but he took the tool and held it close to the water surface. As it was nearly touching the surface, he could finally see something. "Whoa, what the heck is that?" "Microbes. Tiny tiny little helplings, which convert fish poo into nitrite and then into nitrate. And this is the good stuff my plants wanna have." He smiled cheeky. "Wanna see them?" His grin got even wider. Jonah couldn’t say no, so he stood up and followed his green companion to his big advertised grow setup.

Soon they stood in front of a long cannabis field. The plants were waving in the warm summer breeze, and they seemed to be in their last weeks of flowering. But different from the other fields Jonah had seen before, this field was floating in a pond. All the plants got their stems stuck in a kind of board, which was floating inside the water. "These plants here grow with DWC, which means Deep-Water-Culture. And all of this water flows back to the fishes to repeat the whole cycle. The plants stay inside the water all day and night. But their roots have already adapted to their situation. And as long as there is enough oxygen inside the water, they can grow to magnificent dimensions." Mr. Haze pointed across the pond. "You see the pipe over there? From there the water from the microbe pond is coming, fertilizing my precious plants. And as you can see, they love the fish poo. HAHAHA!" He laughed so hard that he nearly fell inside the pond. Jonah looked at him questioningly: "Okay, okay, I get it: the plants and the fishes live in the same water, which means they live in the same 'habitat', which is also the name of the company you tried to copy. But what about this waffle thing? Or did you mess up that joke from the beginning?"

Mr. Haze shook his head eagerly. He then tipped against his not-existing nose and smiled. With a long, deep breath through his nostrils, he sucked in the surrounding air. "Can’t you smell it?" Jonah watched him, wondering what he ment. So he shrugged his shoulders and did the same as Mr. Haze. Surprisingly, he noticed a smell of vanilla, fresh waffles and cinnamon. Jonah looked around, trying to find the source of this tempting smell, but he couldn’t see any bakery, café, or anything that would explain the fragrance.

"Aaaah, sooooo satisfying, when you can smell your own plants from a distance. Yes, my friend, this delicious scent comes from these plants in the water over there. The name of the strain is 'Waffle Bites'. Very fitting, don’t you think?" Mr. Haze pointed towards the big cannabis plants floating on the water. "I got some seeds from Habitat. They wanted to see, if I could gain the same quality in my natural kind of setup. So, what’s your opinion? Did I do everything right?" He reached inside the pocket of his jacket and pulled out a big cannabis bud. It was very dense, and its trichome coat was shining in the bright daylight. Jonah took it from his hand and inspected it closely. The single little buds, which were creating a nicely shaped form of the whole blossom, looked like little bulbs, pressed against each other. The smell was the same as he noticed before, but a lot stronger.

"And now: Let’s try this stuff!" Mr. Haze snatched the big bud from Jonahs hand and moved it inside his gloves. He then reached inside his pockets again and pulled out a fresh baked waffle, which was still steaming. He sprinkled the ground weed inside the middle of the waffle and rolled everything up to some kind of joint. After he was finished, he put the joint-like waffle between his giant teeth, lit it up and inhaled the upcoming smoke. A big smokey cloud floated through the sky, as Mr. Haze was holding the joint towards Jonah. He looked at the waffle-joint with a little disgust, as he had never smoked a joint paper made of dough. But as always, he didn’t want to be impolite, so he grabbed the joint and took a few puffs.

Even the smoke was tasting somehow like vanilla, dough, and cinnamon. Jonah closed his eyes for a moment to perceive every single nuance of this extraordinary taste. Soon he felt a warm, relaxing feeling streaming all towards his whole body and mind. As he opened his eyes again, he noticed that he was about to fall inside the pond, but in slow motion. As he looked to his side, Mr. Haze was also floating in midair, while still puffing on his waffle-joint. They both sank slowly on the water's surface. It felt like falling very softly onto a water bed, as the water was covering his body. The feeling of relaxation and a thought of 'everything is alright' got stronger, as Jonah was just floating in the pond next to his big green companion.

"So, what do you think about Waffle Bites?" Mr. Haze asked.

Jonah closed his eyes again, to perceive the full effects of this strain. "It reminds me of that one special feeling, I often had as a child. You were at the swimming pool, playing and swimming for hours, until it got late, and you had to go home. When you lay in bed in the evening, your whole body was still feeling this sensation of water around you, and sometimes you could even still feel the waving of the water. It was one of the best feelings and was calming me every time. And this weed gives me the same calming and relaxing effect."

Since Mr. Haze did react to his answer, Jonah opened his eyes again. He was no longer floating inside the plant's pond. Jonah was lying outside the water, near the pond, on a large towel. The sun was shining on his body and he felt calm, just calm and alright. "Waffle Bites from Habitat … " He mumbled, smiling.