The Hashing-Machine

Jonah was once again alone in Amsterdam to pursue his passion and journalistic hobby. Eve didn't mind, so he quickly arranged a train ticket and accommodation for several days.

However, after spending the first day on the beach, most of the clothes he would have worn for longer were already completely soaked and full of sand. As there was no washing machine in his accommodation, he had to find a laundromat in the city in order to have fresh clothes for the next few days.

In the early evening, Jonah set out and followed a Google route to the nearest laundromat. It was only a few minutes walk to his destination. With the bag of wet clothes on his back, he strolled through the streets and alleys of Amsterdam. 

Arriving at his destination, he looked through the large glass windows of the salon from the outside. Inside were many large washing machines and dryers, some colorful laundry baskets and a machine for washing powder. When Jonah entered the room he noticed that there was only one older lady present besides him. She had gray, slightly disheveled hair and looked at him with a friendly expression through a pair of large glasses. She sat on a small chair next to one of the washing machines right at the entrance.

Jonah looked at the lady and was a little unsettled. "Why is she staring at me like that?" he asked himself as he slowly let the door slide shut behind him. He then made his way straight ahead to one of the large washing machines at the other end of the room. He turned around. The woman was still looking at him with a sympathetic look. Jonah didn't know how to react. Timid, he smiled back and gave a curt nod. 

He then turned his attention back to his dirty laundry. Jonah opened the bag in which he had carried his things and immediately the unmistakable smell of a visit to the sea was in the air. Thousands of tiny grains of sand trickled to the ground. 

Hastily, Jonah stuffed the clothes into the silver drum of the washing machine so as not to spread more sand around the salon. But his first carelessness had already been enough and had spread a good bit across the floor below him. Jonah looked around to see if there was anything like a broom nearby. He looked to his left and didn't find anything. He looked to his right and looked directly into the friendly grinning face of the old lady. 

She had gotten up in the meantime and stood next to him. Startled, Jonah took a few steps back, almost slipping on his sandy carpet.

"May I help you?" asked Jonah uncertainly, leaning on the washing machine behind him.

"Nou, ik heb op je gewacht." she replied in a very distinctive smoky voice. She smiled at him with a big grin and held out her hand. However, when she noticed that Jonah was just looking at her helplessly, she had to laugh. 

My first meet with Mila Jansen, September 2016

"Oh I'm so sorry. I forgot to speak in English. Haha, my bad." she said, laughing. "I've been waiting for you. My name is Mila." Again she held out her hand to him, still with a sunny smile on her face. 

Jonah tentatively grabbed her hand and shook it. "Hi Mila, I'm Jonah. But ..."

Before he could elaborate on his question, she interrupted him. "I know who you are, boy. So come on, let's go." She popped a small, hand-rolled joint into her mouth, lit it and took a few deep puffs. A thick fog spread through the small parlor. Through the mist, Mila's hand reached out and held another joint in front of Jonah's nose. 

Hesitantly, Jonah took the joint and Mila's hand disappeared back into the thick smoke. "I'll go ahead. Just follow me, I'll wait for you two." Her unmistakable voice sounded in the far distance from the snowy white sea. 

"I didn't fall asleep, nor did I smoke anything before. What the hell is going on this time?" Jonah wasn't sure if this event meant something good or bad. But before he could really philosophize about it, his old acquaintance appeared next to him. 

"Aaaaw jeeez. Light it and let me taste." Mr. Haze was jumping up and down like a little excited kid in front of Jonah. He was more jittery than usual and seemed like he couldn't wait. 

Jonah looked at him questioningly. "What's so special about this one? You smoke joints non-stop, which are as twice as thick compared with this one." Jonah looked at the doobie in his hand. The joint wasn't particularly thick, nor did it have the typical conical shape, he was used to see in coffee shops. It was a selfmade joint, after all. But besides that, it didn't seem special in any way. 

"You won't detect it from the outside and don't you dare to open it up! This is a hash joint, but not just any hash joint. It's filled with Ice-O-Later hash and it was rolled by the one and only Mila Jansen." Drool oozed from the green giant's wide-open mouth and his eyes turned in all directions. 

"Mila who?" asked Jonah. The question struck Mr. Haze like an arrow. He paused in complete silence for a brief moment, then his head shot forward and stopped just inches from the tip of Jonah's nose. "MILA WHO? Are you kiddin' me? Mila JANSEN!" roared Mr. Haze in his face. He then pulled his face back and eyed the clearly intimidated Jonah. "Mila Jansen, the hash queen? Surely you've heard of her, don’t you?" asked Mr. Haze. Jonah shook his head.

Again, Mr. Haze lingered for a while as if frozen. He seemed to have as much trouble processing this reaction as the first. It was beyond him how anyone could not know this woman or her name, but to Jonah she was a stranger.

Finally, he stirred again. "Okay, a stranger is just a friend you haven't met yet. So let's go. We should follow her. You don't want to keep the Queen waiting." Mr. Haze took the joint from his hand, put one side in Jonah’s mouth, and held a small flame that flared from his glove to the other end.

Instinctively, Jonah took a deep drag and he felt his lungs fill with a thick, heavy smoke. The taste of hashish was so intense that Jonah thought he was chewing on a piece of it. The smell that spread through the room, along with the smoke, was hard to describe: a mixture of different woods, moss, but also a hint of chocolate and caramel, paired with a spicy aroma that he could not assign to any spice he knew. Even though this mixture sounded very strange in theory, the smell was seductive in a very special way. 

Pleasurably, Jonah took another drag, also breathing in the fog around him, with each breath. His head and limbs became pleasantly heavy. He felt a cozy warmth and a sense of comfort rise within him. It felt like someone had put a cozy, thick jacket on him. And as he looked down at himself, Jonah noticed that he was indeed wearing a lined cardigan. "What the...?" Jonah tugged at the jacket in confusion, wondering how it had gotten on his body.

"Some feel hash the same way you do right now – like a cozy jacket or blanket. And believe me, you'll need this where we're going now." Mr. Haze Amaze took a few steps to the side and opened one of the large washing machines. It was one of the models which were loaded from the top and pressed the laundry against the sides as if in a centrifuge. A continuous hum and loud clatter sounded from inside the machine. 

Jonah stepped closer to the machine and peered into it from above. A yellow-green slurry was being washed in it in a vortex along the sides. There were many chunks of ice swirling around in the vortex, creating the loud clacking sound that now resounded throughout the room. In the middle of the whirlpool, a white cloth bag spun. 

"Ugh..." Jonah screwed up his face as he looked at the inside of the machine. "What exactly is this supposed to be?" He turned his head around and looked questioningly at Mr. Haze. He just raised an eyebrow mischievously, snatched the joint out of Jonah's mouth and shoved him head first into the large opening of the machine.

"And down the rabbit hole we go!" hissed Mr. Haze with a chuckle, stuck the joint between his teeth, made a gallant leap over the edge of the washing machine and disappeared into it. 

Jonah didn't know anymore where up and down was. He was thrown around in circles and found himself underwater. It was freezing cold and he struggled with himself not to scream out of panic or drown. Pursued by the gloating laughter of his companion, he swirled disoriented through the murky, frosty water.

Suddenly, Jonah felt a violent suction. It snapped him out of his circling motion and pulled him inexorably towards the depths. With an ominous gurgle and bubble, a small circular opening approached him, just large enough for him to fit through.

His vision blurred more and more and he swept through the opening into a long dark tunnel. A few seconds later, Jonah was flung out of a huge pipe and into the air, falling with a loud splash into a large murky lake. Gasping for air, his head shot out of the water. He spluttered, kicking and paddling, like a toddler in the water. 

Mr. Haze had come up beside him. He was up to his waist in water, eyeing Jonah skeptically. "Dude, please...just get up. This is going to look really awkward otherwise." He held out his hand to Jonah. 

Jonah had stopped fighting the drowning by now when he realized that Mr. Haze was right. The water wasn't particularly deep and probably reached just a bit above his waist, even for him. Ashamed, he stood up and spat out the rest of the water that was still stuck in his throat. 

But about one thing, Jonah was not wrong: the water was damn cold. Jonah began to shiver all over his body and stumbled towards the shore, jittering. Mr. Haze just shook his head and followed him, grinning. 

Back on land, Jonah began wringing out his clothes. He was wet to the bone and the water ran out of his clothes in streams. He stood there like a drenched poodle as he realized the futility of his action. With a sinister look, he turned to Mr. Haze. "Honestly, does it always have to be like this? I'm going to freeze my ass off here! Sometimes I'd like to ... you." He made a gesture as if he wanted to strangle Mr. Haze. When he tried to pull his hands apart again, he noticed they were sticky. Jonah groped down at himself and noticed that not only his hands, but also his clothes and hair were sticky. "What the hell...?" 

"Aw c’mon boy, don't be so fancy. After all, you just plopped into the lake and polluted it. Tztztz, naughty boy." Mr. Haze shook his head, but he couldn't help but grin. 

"I'm supposed to have contaminated the water? How could anyone possibly make this green, sticky broth any dirtier?" Jonah was still trying in vain to get his clothes dry without constantly sticking to himself.

In one fluid motion, Mr. Haze pulled a long golden straw from his jacket pocket. "May I?" he asked, making an inviting hand gesture. Jonah, who didn't quite understand what Mr. Haze was up to, shrugged his shoulders. That was already enough confirmation for his companion. He leaned far forward until he almost touched the ground with the brim of his cylinder. Then he stuck the straw into Jonah's left shoe and magically sucked out all the water from all his clothes. 

After a few seconds, Jonah was completely dry again and his clothes were no longer sticky either. Mr. Haze straightened up to full size again. His cheeks were bulging. Hastily he turned his head and spat the water back into the lake like a gargoyle in a great glittering fountain. 

"Phew, that was close. I almost swallowed the whole thing. I'm sure Mila would have been mad at me for that." Mr. Haze smiled. Jonah noticed that his large white teeth still had small yellow and green residue stuck to them, which must have been from the water. 

"What kind of weird soup is this that you're making such a fuss over this little bit of water?" Jonah looked across at the lake, but he saw nothing to make this murky water special. It lay enclosed by jagged rocky massifs, over whose broad crown the great pipe he came from rested like a gigantic serpent, incessantly pouring the yellow-green broth into the lake.

"Everything at the right time. First thing we have to do is catch up with Mila or we can forget about the tour. C'mon, it's not far." Mr. Haze led the way with long strides, running to a rocky path at the base of the cliff walls. Jonah followed him over large boulders and crumbling stone paths further and further up the mountain. 

After a while, they reached a large rock ledge on which Mr. Haze stopped abruptly. Jonah crashed into him, being too distracted by the steep rock walls. He rubbed his forehead, which he had slammed full force against Mr. Haze's iron-hard back. "Say, can't you say something?" Jonah murmured at his companion.

"I once smoked a hash-joint, I received as a gift, 

and just after some puffs my mind started to shift. 

I woke up, strolling through mysterious lands in a dream of me, 

when I came across a shiny golden cannabis tree. 

The tree was huge, strongly branched and seemed old, 

the stones and the ground were all powdered with gold. 

A lady was walking around in the shadow beneath, 

she was shaking some branches, collecting the kief. 

She pressed it together, the dust became one big pile, 

she rolled it in a joint and said "Smoke it." with a smile. 

I took it, I lit it, and it hit me like a flash: 

'So that's why the call you the Queen of the Hash!'"

Mr. Haze took his hat off his head and held it reverently in front of his chest as he recited these lines. Jonah stepped out from behind him and looked past him in the same direction:in front of them, a wooden footbridge led up a small staircase, surrounded by the craggy rock massif. But here the rocks were covered in a kind of golden dust. It was all over the path and the high stone walls, glittering in the light of the sunrays. It was a breathtaking sight and yet Jonah saw something in the distance that made him marvel even more.

A huge, golden tree stood there between the steep rock faces and seemed to illuminate even the sky with its brilliance. Its branches formed a dense, broad web and reached high into the sky. Judging by the shape of its leaves, it could only be a cannabis plant, or rather a cannabis tree. 

The big golden cannabis tree

"Is that really..." Jonah didn't even manage to finish his sentence as Mr. Haze excitedly grabbed him by the arm and pulled him along the path. "Yes, yes it is! C'mon Mila must be waiting for us there." They hurried across the footbridge, Jonah skidding over and over. The powder under his feet was very slippery. Mr. Haze was in such a hurry, however, that he took two steps at a time and just dragged Jonah along behind him. 

When they reached the end of the walkway, the enormous cannabis tree presented itself to them in all its glory. Its leaves were immense and some of them were already the size of a full grown human. Just now Jonah also recognized the gigantic flowers that protruded from the crown and side branches of the tree. The entire tree, including its leaves and blossoms, were shining in light golden hues, sparkling like a diamond.

In the shade of the large tree, Mila sat on a small wooden stool with a wooden tray laying on her knees. She had a large clump of cannabis stalks lying beside her, with countless of the golden flowers hanging from them. She took one of the stalks in her hand, held it over the wooden board, and tapped the branch several times. A fine golden powder trickled out, forming a thin layer on the wooden tray. With each tap, the layer grew higher and larger. 

Mila looked up and waved them both over as she continued tapping the cannabis. Jonah stepped closer and looked at the powder, which by now had formed a small mountain on the little board. "Kief." she said with a friendly smile, setting the branch aside and holding the tray out to him. "Dried resin crystals from a cannabis plant. When the crystals are ripe and dried, you can just shake them off the plant like that. And when you compress that powder into a lump," she took a portion of the shaken off crystal powder and pressed it between her palms, "it creates the simplest form of hashish." She opened her palms. Inside was a golden yellow lump that gave off such a penetrating cannabis smell that Mr. Haze was already drooling from the corner of his mouth. Mila put the lump back on the board. 

"Although not quite true. Another way of making it is even easier: hand-rubbing." Mila picked up another branch from the ground and took the topmost part between both hands. Then she twisted the plant, complete with its flowers, between her palms and rubbed them together vigorously. A few seconds later she put the branch aside and rubbed only her bare palms. She rubbed each finger around in a circular fashion in her right palm and Jonah realized how small dark brown balls and rolls were forming on her sticky hands. Gradually the individual lumps stuck together until they had coalesced into a thumb-sized ball. This lump also had such an intense smell that Jonah had never experienced before. 

"So, do you want to know more about hashish?" Jonah nodded eagerly. "Wonderful. Then today I will explain you some stuff you need to know about hash and its production."

Again he just nodded eagerly. Jonah was still slightly distracted by the intense and admittedly very enticing smell of the two lumps of hash. 

"Let's start with why you can smell these two lumps like a whole bag of cannabis. As I've already shown, hash is made of nothing more than the compressed resin crystals of the cannabis plant. These resin crystals look like little dew drops, on a thin stalk. They contain oils and terpenes that make up the smell of the plant and its flowers. When the crystals are squeezed together, a large number of them break or crack. The oils escapes and thus the typical cannabis smell is created. With heat or just the warmth of my hands, these oils spread their smell even more. Just like essential oils in a fragrance lamp, when the oil heats up, it spreads its scent around the room."

Jonah took the two lumps of hash into his hand and smelled them. As he did so, he noticed that the lump of hash she had been rubbing in her hand actually had a much more intense smell than the other. "And how come the first lump is so light and yellow, but the second is dark brown and looks a bit like...well...shit?" He laid the lumps back onto the wood tray.

Mila burst into tears laughing. "Oh boy, why do you think it's called shit? It's from the heat of my hands, the air and the rubbing process, like I said. The oil that comes out oxidizes with the air and hand heat, turning it brown. The friction spreads the oil all over the lump, which is why it looks a little greasy and sticky afterwards. But it also depends on the strain." 

Mila took the two lumps from the board and put them into small bags. The bag with the hand-rubbed ball disappeared into her pants pocket. She folded the other bag so many times that there was just enough room for the yellowish lump of hash. Then she took off one of her shoes, tucked the folded bag into the back of the shoe, and stuck her foot back in. "I'll press the lump like that all day. Speaking of which, we'd better get going or this day will be over in a hurry."

Mila walked to the trunk of the tree under which stood a large woven wicker basket. She picked it up and placed its carrying straps on her shoulders. Like a farmer from days gone by, she came walking back to the two of them, seemingly heavy loaded. She walked past the two and disappeared behind a large rock. When she emerged from behind it again, she was holding a bicycle handlebar in her hands. 

"What else," Jonah smirked, "A bicycle. The Dutchman's favorite vehicle of transportation." But when Mila had stepped out from behind the rock and the complete vehicle was visible, Jonah wasn't sure if it was a bicycle at all anymore:

The front part looked like an ordinary bicycle. A tire, a handlebar and a small golden bell. Up to the middle, the frame of the bike was also normal. It had a comfortable leather seat and two pedals underneath. But the back part of the bicycle was a huge box with two large wheels attached to the sides. A tent-like roof had been erected over the box and fastened with iron bars. Under the roof, a few cushions and pillows were combined to form a comfortable-looking bench seat.

"Mount up once, please, gentlemen. It's about to start, let's ride the Pollinator-Bike!" Mila made a welcoming gesture and asked Jonah and Mr. Haze to take a seat on the bench. They climbed up an attached iron ladder and made themselves comfortable on the cushions. Meanwhile, Mila carried her basket to one of the large tires at the end of the bike. She turned a thick screw in the middle of the wheel several times. Suddenly the wheel just flipped to the side and showed a cylindrical inside. She took the basket off her shoulders and tossed the entire content into the tube. Judging by the smell, it had to be cannabis. But why had she just thrown it into this "trunk"?

"You say, perhaps one of us had better drive? She doesn't look too fit." Jonah nudged Mr. Haze from the side, who was slumping back into the cushions. He grinned broadly, pulled his cylinder down and replied unconcerned: "Believe me boy, she doesn't need any help. She's been in a few bike races. Sometimes high, sometimes sober. She don't need no help." He smacked his lips loudly and lay deep relaxed in a mountain of pillows. 

Mila swung herself gracefully onto the leather seat of her monstrous tricycle and took the handlebars in her hands. With a glance backwards she made sure that she couldn't get caught anywhere. Then she put her feet on the pedals and laboriously began to get the vehicle moving. Groaning, Mila put all her strength into the pedals while the tires rolled forward only inches at a time. 

Jonah leaned forward, already feeling guilty. "Should I not rather ride..." Mila raised her hand and waved it off. "It's all good. The beginning is always a bit difficult." And indeed, the tricycle gradually began to pick up speed, accelerating a little with each kick. 

By the time they had reached about walking speed, they had already gone around the tree once and were now at the beginning of a long road. It led back down the mountain and seemed to tunnel even deeper into the rock massif. This road was also covered in the golden powder. Jonah was intrigued as he realized that all this dust he saw here were resin crystals that could be made into hashish. 

"Brace yourselves, it's about to get turbulent. I'm going to start the Pollinator-Bike now." A wide, euphoric grin stretched across Mila's face as she slowly let her left thumb travel over the golden bell. 

"But what are we supposed to hold on to..." But before Jonah could finish his question, Mila had already pressed the bell. A loud rumbling sounded from under Jonah's butt. The sound of an engine starting could be heard. And just a second later, the vehicle was hurtling down the bumpy road at tremendous speed. The roar of the engine, the rush of the countryside and the rumble in the box were joined by the happy, resounding laughter of Mila as the wind whistled around her ears.

It was a miracle that the box Jonah and Mr. Haze were sitting on withstood that ride. Likewise, it was a miracle that Jonah didn't fall off. He was shaken hard and clutched the iron bars of the tent roof. Mr. Haze still lay between the pillows as before, not wobbling an inch. However he did it, Jonah could only envy him for it.

After leaving the rocky landscape behind, they headed for the large tunnel that led inside the mountain. Like a huge maw, it swallowed them up, then it went dark for a moment. But soon colorful lamps lit up the ceiling of the tunnel, illuminating the long road ahead of them. 

Everything around them glistened and Jonah felt an icy cold breeze blow through his face. He buried himself deeper into the pillows and tried to cover himself up a little with them. By now the ride wasn't quite as bumpy, so he was able to relax a little more. He looked up at the ceiling and admired the magnificent play of colors of the multicolored lights that were reflected in the tunnel and formed a kind of rainbow-kaleidoscope. Judging by the cold, it must have been a thick layer of ice that had covered the lamps and the inside of the mountain tunnel.

Gradually the vehicle slowed down and a stop appeared in the distance. Squeaking, the crazy tricycle came to a halt at the slightly raised platform. From the platform, another smaller tunnel led deeper into the rock and ice cave. "Everyone off please, we have reached our destination - the hall of the Hashing Machine*." Mr. Haze burst out laughing. "Hashing Machine! Genius!" 

Jonah looked at him in wonder, he hadn't seemed to get the joke. Mr. Haze noticed and explained, "Well... hashing machine. Kind of like washing machine. Don't you get it?" Jonah didn't really understand the pun - sure it was about hashish, but what does washing have to do with it? He flashed a tired smile on his cheeks and dropped the corners of his mouth right after.

"It's really cold in here." Jonah rubbed his arms. Even though he was still wearing the thick sweater Mr. Haze had given him, he was pretty cold. He started prancing back and forth on the spot to warm himself up.

"You're right about that. But we need the cold here. You'll see." Mila winked at him. Then she put her fingers between her lips and let out a loud whistle. A few seconds later, an excited chatter and splash was heard. With squeaking sounds, several little penguins came waddling out of the tunnel in front of them. They carried tiny brooms and shovels in their flippers. Hastily they hurried to Mila's vehicle, opened the big wheel on the side of the box and disappeared inside. 

"I'm sure you've noticed the loud rumbling beneath you. My vehicle isn't called the Pollinator-Bike for nothing. The big box in the back is a pollinator: a drum, covered with a very fine-meshed net, which spins around, filled with cannabis flowers, in this big box. At the speed we've reached, it only takes 3-5 minutes for all the resin crystals to be spun off the flowers. So basically it's a centrifuge." She opened a small flap on the back of the box. "And the kief that's shaken off can then be easily scraped together and used to make hash." Through the flap, one could see inside the box. As Mila had described, inside was a large drum and underneath it had collected a large amount of kief, which the little birds were hastily picking up with their tiny brooms and shovels, stuffing it into little bags.

No sooner had Mila finished her explanation than the little penguins came chattering out of the box again. Each carried a small bag filled to the brim with golden dust. Again they hurried past the three of them and disappeared as quickly as they had come.

"We'll follow them. After all, you haven't seen my best invention yet." Mila waved at the two and walked after the chatter in the distance. Mr. Haze hurried after her and Jonah didn't want to be the last either. 

They followed the tunnel deeper and deeper into the mountain. The further they got, the colder it got. Jonah felt goosebumps spreading on the back of his unprotected neck. Again and again he rubbed his arms and the back of his neck to keep from freezing. Suddenly, a warm scarf wrapped around his neck. As he spun around, he looked into the green face of his tall companion. "There you go, little pussy." He chuckled softly and moved past him. 

After a while they arrived at the end of the tunnel. A bright light shone into the tunnel from the other side. And when they stepped out of the opening, Jonah’s jaw dropped in amazement:

They were in a gigantic cave made of ice. All over the ceiling and walls were the same colored lights, making the vault shine like a palace of precious stones. In the center of the cave, a pillar of ice as tall as a house rose from the ground. An aqueduct made of ice ran from the bottom of the great column across the cave, pouring streams of golden yellow water into smaller, wide columns below. 

"What's that?" asked Jonah, still looking around in fascination. Mila had already moved on a few feet. A narrow path led under the aqueduct, directly to the monumental central column. Only now did Jonah realize that there was a staircase around the column. It was made of iron bars and grates, and snaked from the ground up to the edge of the tower. 

The metal squeaked and groaned as the three of them climbed up the spiral staircase. Mila booted ahead, followed by Mr. Haze Amaze and Jonah, who walked at the end of the troop. "Why does it have to be so cold in here anyway?" asked Jonah through chattering teeth. 

"For one simple reason: it improves the manufacturing process. And why just cool the machine when you can keep the whole room cold? The penguins prefer working here to outside, too." Mila waved at a small troop of waddling birds, which were at the bottom of the stairs. 

When the three of them reached the top of the pillar, Jonah noticed that there was a structure inside that reminded him strongly of the Pollinator's drum. But he quickly realized that it must be some kind of giant centrifuge. It was filled with water and ice cubes - just like the washing machine that had brought him here.

"Sweet baby Jesus. This is so beautiful." Mr. Haze eyes glittered as he stretched over the edge of the abyss and looked into it. "I can't take it anymore. C'mon Mila, explain to us what this thing can do."

Mila was pleased with the euphoria of her green guest and began with her explanation: "This, my friends, is the Bubbleator Tower. It works just like my Bubbleator, but it's much bigger, so it has an immense capacity. And by making the washing drum an ice tower, I don't need to cool the water down any further."

Jonah looked at her questioningly. Bubbleator? Washing drum? He couldn't understand a word she was saying. Mila seemed to be able to read his confusion from his eyes. 

"Okay let's start a little further ahead. What are the crystals on the flowers made of?" Mr. Haze jerked his arm up in the air and bounced excitedly. Mila ignored him and looked at Jonah with a challenging look.

"Well, from resin." replied Jonah, shrugging. Mila nodded. "And what happens to resin when you freeze it?" Again, Mr. Haze stuck his hand up in the air. Wildly, he waved his arm around, making sounds like a little school kid. But again, Mila's gaze rested on Jonah.

"It's getting hard and crumbly." Again Mila nodded in satisfaction. "That's right, boy. And that's exactly what happens to the resin crystals of the cannabis plant. When they freeze they become brittle and fall off the plant parts quite easily. You just have to give it a good shake. And with my Bubbleator, the centrifugal force of a ... washing machine does the trick." 

"In this case, quite an oversized one." Jonah mumbled to herself, hoping that Mila had overheard. 

"By moving and spinning in the water, the trichomes, or resin crystals, fall from the plant and are washed through the net of the drum to the walls of the column. The plant parts all remain in the drum, as they do not pass through the net. When the drum has spun long enough, the water is drained and distributed through the aqueduct." Mila pointed along the waterway and its exits. 

"But... then won't all the crystals be washed away with it?" Jonah didn't understand the point of separating the coveted trichomes from the plants and then letting them drain out of the tower like dirty water.

"No, no, of course we don't just wash them away. That's why we built the lower pillars, to catch them. They are also made entirely of ice to keep the water cool throughout. This also keeps the resin crystals intact. But enough words. Why don't you let me demonstrate?" With those words, Mila took a step away from them, towards a small table where a megaphone was set up. She took it in her hand, flicked the switch, and let her distinctive voice resound through the great hall, "Bring the buds! Start the engine!" 

An excited chatter echoed through the palace of ice. The penguins scurried crisscrossing the small entrances and exits in the massive ice walls. Wild cackling and waddling could also be heard above their heads, when suddenly three little penguins appeared above them on a ledge with a large iron cart. They had every difficulty in moving the wagon forward. When they had managed it, one of them pulled a lever and the wagon slowly tilted forward. A rain of thick, lush green flowers covered in golden crystals poured from the cart into the large water-filled column of the Bubbleator Tower.

At the bottom of the tower was a control panel with two large knobs, above which were the inscriptions "Speed" and "Time".  Between the two knobs was another large lever, which presumably started the machine. A penguin turned the knobs wildly and then flipped the lever down.

Slowly and ponderously the huge drum inside the tower started to move. The masses of water and the heap of flowers and ice floating in it made it difficult for the machine to start. Little by little, the drum gained speed and created a veritable giant whirlpool that pulled the masses of plants into the depths of the column.

After some minutes have left, Mila raised her voice again, "Stop the engine! Release the water!" Again a hasty chatter went through the hall and the little animals ran again through each other and over each other. 

Mila waved at Jonah and Mr. Haze. "Come on. We're going to see the results now." With cautious steps they went down the rickety stairs again, while next to them the roaring sound of the water masses gradually subsided.

When they reached the bottom, Mila led them to one of the smaller columns, where two of the little penguins were already waddling impatiently in place. Their eyes were fixed on a flap about three meters high in the middle of the column. 

Mila rubbed her hands together, grinning. "It's about to start. Once the water in the tower comes to a stop, it will continue down the aqueduct into these columns. Behind that door are several very fine mesh nets, from 28 high to 220 microns. That means the holes are between 28 and 220 microns, so they're pretty darn tiny."

A loud gurgling and rushing interrupted her explanation. Splashing, the golden-yellow tide flowed out of the great tower, over the aqueduct, and rushed like a waterfall through the interior of the column beside which they stood.

The water poured out again through a small opening at the bottom of the column. It had lost some of its color and had now taken on a much greener hue. It flowed along a wide gully and then spread out over several small rivulets across the entire floor of the cave. Some of the waterways had been fitted with small dams or water wheels and were more reminiscent of a children's water playground rather than an extraction hall.

"Is this water playground essential too, then?" Jonah said as he looked along some of the water courses. Mila laughed. "No, no. My little helpers built that. They always get insanely excited when they get to play there at recess. Cute, isn't it?"

Mr. Haze watched some of the penguins frolicking in the water playground. "So cute. I like their little suits best." He tugged on his frag and smirked. 

In the meantime, the sound of the water could no longer be heard. The two penguins that had been standing next to them had also become quiet. Squeaking, they opened the iron gate of the column. Inside, as Mila had explained, were several nets stretched on steel frames. Carefully, they pulled one frame at a time from its moorings and placed it on a stretcher beside them. Mila took out the last and lowest frame and held it in front of her with her chest swelling with pride. "This my friends is real 1A Ice Water hash from the Bubbleator Tower. Only the best trichomes are collected in these sieves, classified according to their size by the different mesh sizes. However, the hash is still wet and needs to dry. Let's just get back to following our little friends." She pointed to the two penguins, who had set off with the stretcher including the sieves.

Chattering, they waited for the three of them at another not very inviting metal structure. Jonah wasn't quite sure, but from the looks of it, it had to be an elevator. So it was back to daylight again. 

A little hesitantly, he stepped onto the elevator platform, which was just a sort of cow grate with a rickety metal railing. "Well, from the looks of it, it probably won't go very fa..." But before he could even finish his thought, the elevator hurtled upwards at breakneck speed. The speed surprised Jonah so much that it literally pushed him to the ground.

After a few seconds, the wild ride was over and the elevator came to a shaky halt in an enclosed space. When Mila and Mr. Haze looked behind them, they saw the chalky Jonah clinging to the floor. His eyes rolling back and forth, His eyes rolled back and forth, he had all the effort to raise himself on his feet. "Oh, I'm sorry. I guess I should have given you a warning about the speed. We always go so fast, so the airstream already blows some of the water out of the sieves."   Mila patted Jonah on his shoulder. "But you survived, didn’t you?"

Mr. Haze Amaze couldn't help but laugh maliciously and pulled Jonah up by his collar. The scarf still hung over Jonah's face and his hair was completely disheveled as he staggered to his feet.

When he had all his senses back together, he gave them both a reproachful look. "Yeah, a warning would have been nice." Mila shrugged. "For that, we now come to the last and best part of our journey. The drying station and, of course, the hash tasting." She raised her eyebrows with a seductive look and opened the gate of the elevator, whereupon one of the walls in the middle split and slid apart. 

A bright light shone down on the three of them as the penguins rushed out of the elevator and carried the stretcher with the sieves into the brightly lit room. As Jonah eyes adjusted to the glare, he saw before him another large room.On the left and right walls, there were several round holes in which man-sized fans were turning. They generated a gentle stream of air that blew through the entire hall. The temperature was now a little more pleasant again

There were hundreds of metal racks lined up across the entire surface of the hall, with screens already lying on top. On the frontmost of the sieves, a similar golden-yellow mass still stuck to the ones the penguins had brought in. Further in the back of the hall, the hash on most sieves had been pushed together to a small plate. 

Mila and Mr. Haze were already a few feet in front of him, looking at one of the sieves. "This is what the hash looks like when it's still all wet. And of course, to get the water out, we only use the gentlest method here. The optimum temperature and humidity for drying are found here. Normally you could dry the hash outside or with heat, but that loses quite a bit of the flavor and smell. But first, a lot of the water has to be extracted by manual help."

No sooner had she said those words, the two penguins rushed over. They carried small tools in their flippers that strongly reminded Jonah of a scraper or spatula. Hastily, they waddled over to the sieve they were standing next to, hopped onto the frame, and began pushing the sticky mass back and forth with their tools. Soon they had scraped together a heedful pile. Then they took out individual lumps and pressed them so tightly between their little flippers that the water dripped out. Then they crumbled the lumps into even smaller chunks and spread them again over a large area on the sieve. Satisfied with her work, Mila patted the animals' heads, which then made happy squeaking sounds. “It can dry much better, when it’s spread out, of course.

"And now patience is required. The drying process takes a few days. Only then the hash is really dry and ready for consumption."

"And why do you call it Ice-Hash?" asked Mr. Haze as he examined the hash more closely. Mila replied: “It’s because of the ice, we used in the extraction with the Bubbleator-Tower. "But why is the Bubbleator actually called a Bubbleator? There weren't any bubbles at all in the manufacturing process, were there?" Jonah's curiosity had now gripped him as well. The hash that was lying there in front of him on those sieves just looked so pure and delicious. He just had to fully understand the secret behind it.

"There's a different reason for that, because we actually have not only Ice Hash here but also, quite literally, washed-up Bubble Hash. But I'll show you exactly what that means later in the tasting room."

They went to the end of the hall, where a steel door had been built in. In somewhat scrawly script, the word "museum" had been written above it. Mila opened the door. Behind it, against all expectations, was a comfortably furnished room with two large sofas and a small table in the middle. On the walls hung countless photographs as well as picture frames and a large map of the world with many small pins in it. "Welcome to my humble little museum." Mila waved them both in with a friendly smile and directed them to take a seat on one of the sofas. 

"All the pictures here are from all the events, Dab-a-Doo’s and important stages of my life. Each one tells its own story and each one is great in its own right. Next to you on the wall are lots of pieces of hash made with my machines. People just sent them to me out of gratitude and I display them here in my museum." Then she rummaged around under the table and pulled out a large glass bong. She fished a small pouch out of her jacket pocket, took out a large lump of hash and placed it in the head of the bong. 

"If you're about to take a fat rip on that bong, watch very closely what happens to the hash in the bowl." Mila winked at Jonah and pulled out a lighter. "But be warned. Ice bubble hash can contain a huge amount of THC." 

A bit unsettled by the last sentence, Jonah finally put his mouth to the opening of the smoking device. As Mila lit the fire and Jonah sucked on the other end of the bong, he looked spellbound at the contents of the bowl: The hash actually started to blister and form little bubbles. And after only a few seconds it had disappeared almost without a trace. 

With a deep sigh, Jonah blew a thick cloud of smoke into the room. The effect was not long in coming and literally sucked him into the couch. 

"Is it healthy to have it bubbling like that?" he asked in a raspy voice, little wisps of smoke still escaping the corners of his mouth. "Healthier than if it didn't. The resin crystals contain oils and what happens to oil when you heat it?" Mila looked at Jonah questioningly.

Jonah shrugged. "Well it... bubbles?" Mila nodded. "Exactly. If hash doesn't react like that when burned, it means there's still plant residue in it, or god forbid, extender. So the bubbling is a sign of purity. That's also why there's nothing left of the hash, precisely because there's no plant residue in it. It’s also called ‘full-melt’"

Jonah finally understood what the whole thing was about and smirked with satisfaction. 

"Uuuuh now me, now me!" cried Mr. Haze, bouncing around on the sofa. He took a long deep drag and held his breath for a moment. Then he turned around to Jonah and blew a huge cloud of smoke right into his face. "It's time to go, boy."

Jonah's gaze blurred in the all-enveloping white haze.

Slowly his vision cleared and he heard a distinctive voice that sounded very familiar.

"And that is why a Bubblelator is technically working like a washing machine. But instead of nasty, dirty stuff you just collect the good golden stuff in the Ice-O-Lator-Bags. " Mila appeared in front of him and winked at Jonah. He squinted his eyes several times, still very dazed. He found himself back in the laundromat where he had been at the beginning of his journey.

"He-Hey, don't smoke that thing too fast. You Germans always smoke so fast. Take yourself some time to enjoy." She laughed when Jonah had nothing more than a goofy grin and nod ready in response. 

"Thank you, Mila. I think I'm a little too high right now. So... I will leave... now." His pronunciation resembled the elegance of a voice computer and he had all the trouble in the world finding the right words. He hadn't thought good hash could throw him off like that. When he realized that he was holding a joint in his hand, he looked at her questioningly.  "Keep it and enjoy it later." Mila grinned, nodded at him, and said goodbye. 

Jonah stood motionless for another moment until his brain began to function again. He smiled sheepishly, turned on his heel and left the small laundromat. 

With long strides he stomped through the cool evening air. Absentmindedly, he put a hand in his jacket pocket. His eyes widened and he buried his hand deeper in his pocket. Then a wide grin stretched across his cheeks. With a sweeping motion, he transported a handful of kief from his jacket pocket. He laughed loudly and gleefully like a small child as he catapulted more and more golden dust out of his pocket.

"So it was more than a dream after all." With a euphoric mood and light steps he pranced down the street... pursued by the sad looks of his dirty laundry behind the window on the large washing machine at the laundromat, he had totally forgotten. At this moment, he was too high to realize, it was only remaining sand in his pockets, he was throwing.

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